Panic, Happiness, and Hot Pink Flowers!

voltee ♦ January 25, 2012 ♦ 1 Comment

Item: Sweater-tank Color/Fabric: Blue, white, green, yellow/Cotton Designer: Esprit Where Purchased: Esprit Outlet; Birch Run Years Owned: Whew- not sure on this one. 13 years?

Tonight’s muse is one of the Forgotten. To be honest, I truly thought that this had gone the way of the Salvation Army a long, long time ago, but apparently I was quite mistaken. I unearthed this back around this past Halloween, on the very top shelf in my closet, where I keep things like beehive wigs, graduation gowns, Austin Powers shirts, and witch hats. Things that aren’t really useful as a costume in a show, but may come in handy for a Halloween party. And underneath the various costumey pieces, there’s usually a half-dozen actual clothing pieces, things that I can’t bring myself to get rid of, but can’t really imagine wearing.
As I lifted a pair of silver space pants for closer consideration, I found this top.
I remember buying this, but really can’t remember when. I know that I was with my sister, and we went to the Birch Run Outlet Mall, which was a 45 minute drive, but absolutely worth it. We always had great times, and snagged awesome sales.
Like this top. It really wasn’t my size, but I bought it anyway, since it was such a good deal. And ended up really liking the extra room! This ended up being one of those really easy pieces that I would just throw on and head to class during my days at MSU.
Notably, I also chose it for for a pretty big event. Arguably the biggest event of my life, thus far:

This is my wedding day!!!
I had a spectacular, absolutely perfect, ridiculously joyful wedding. I would not have changed a single thing!
Well, perhaps one or two little tiny things.
I might have planned a little better.
And I wish my flowers hadn’t been hot pink.
Both of these thoughts are completely and totally evident in this picture.
My beautiful sister Kelly is doing my hair. I know that most brides actually go to a salon or something fancy like that for their weddings. I was just a poor waitress/college student, and my sister was always gifted at styling hair. She did a really great job for my junior prom, so I figured I was all set.
I had this image in my head of somehow getting a new head of hair and looking like some sort of Greek Goddess, with tendrils and interwoven pearls and a simple crown spiraling through it all. Which I’m sure my sister could have done beautifully, if I had planned a bit. But we actually never practiced anything, which I only realized the morning of my wedding. There are so many things to think about when one gets married! How can anyone remember it all?
And so, I had a brief moment of panic. My sister, calm, collected, amazing, assured me it would be fine, and started working her magic. My hair ended up not only looking great, but stayed in place through hours and hours of frenzied dancing. Kelly, the magician! I really would never have made it through that day, or many other days, without her.
About those pink flowers…I had a bit of a hard time articulating to my florist the color of flowers I wanted. I chose this inky, dramatic indigo. I really, really did not want pink. Really. At all. Anything but pink.
In this picture, I can see my sister thinking, “Ok, one hurdle down… now when do I tell her about the flowers??”
I have no idea where it is, but I do actually have a picture of the exact moment she told me my flowers ended up nearly-neon pink. My photographer should really work for TMZ!
I did not react calmly. I did have a bridezilla struggling to occupy my body. But it only lasted for a moment. Or two.
I took a breath, and then decided it didn’t matter. Then, a horrifying thought.
“The men’s flowers are white, right? They aren’t pink, right?”
“Oh, no,” my sister replied without missing a beat. “the boutonnieres are white!”
An hour later, when I saw our best man Casey wearing a calla lily the hottest hot pink I’d ever seen, I just laughed.
I guess that when I really think about it, I’m happy about the flower debacle. It’s a story that always makes me smile, but it also makes me think of marriage in general.
Sometimes, there are surprises. Sometimes, you don’t get what you expect. Sometimes, you don’t get what you think you deserve. Sometimes, you don’t get what you want. Those are the times when you have to realize that nothing is really a fairy tale. Laugh. And focus on what really matters, which is the marriage. In the end, pink flowers are just pink flowers.
I still ended up being married to a man I love, who makes me laugh every day, for almost 12 years!
I love being married.
But do I love this little sweater thing? It’s cute, and I could see it with a long skirt in the summer. I have not worn it, though, in probably over five years. Am I just hanging on to it for sentimental reasons? Should I let it go?