Is There A Time?

voltee ♦ September 23, 2011 ♦ 2 Comments

Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Leopard, polyester Where Designer: Kenar Purchased: Marshall’s Years Owned: 2

I have been doing a great deal of pondering lately. Such questions as: Is it better to keep clothing that reminds you of someone you used to be, or someone you never will be?
I have too many pieces of each.
I just can’t seem to cut either category out of my life. Items from the former I will shove in a garbage bag in a moment of false bravery, and then take it down to my basement, where it will sit for months. Ok, years, actually. But if it’s not in my closet, it’s not actually owning it, right? Right??
Items from the later category make me talk to myself. I will look at the item, and say, “Ok, where will you wear this?” I will think for a moment, and say “Wow, so many places! To a jazz bar, on a hot air balloon ride, when I am invited to a movie premiere, eating a croissant in a Parisian cafe, on The View when I am on my book tour, strolling down a deserted moonlit beach, in Africa reading books to orphans, at a rooftop party in Manhattan…” or whatever wonderful scenario Imaginary Kerry is living in the piece. “The possibilities are endless!” And then I will smile at the practicality of the item in consideration, and place it back in my closet, where it will hang untouched for another month. Ok, year, actually.
And in those occasions where I can come up with not a single plausible occasion where I might wear a piece, I will say, “Costume closet!” Which is sort of the equivalent of a garbage bag in a basement.
For example , this blouse. I remember finding this, surprise! , on the clearance rack at Marshall’s. I was thrilled. “This will come in handy someday,” I thought. “Someday, I will need exactly this.”
Two years later, that day has yet to come. When might one need a bedazzled, leopard print, one shoulder blouse? To a Dress Like A Real Housewife Of New Jersey party?
And yet, I am fascinated by it for some reason. When I pulled it out of the closet tonight, I immediately had to try it on. I smiled. It has a sort of 50’s sex-kitten vibe. I imagine wearing it with Sandy’s black pants from Grease. And red lipstick. And smoking a cigarette. And looking like Jayne Mansfield.
When might this occasion be? On Halloween. Or in another lifetime.
So why do I still have this? Or these shoes?

These Giuseppe Zanotti shoes are gorgeous, and I love them dearly. But I have had these for at least five years, and have never worn them, except to try them on about once a year and say how pretty they are. When I try them on, I think about things like renewing my wedding vows, usually on a large boat, or on top of a building overlooking the ocean at sunset, wearing a simple white sheath and these shoes.
I would really love to do that. I would love to do all of the things that I imagine doing in the clothes I have never worn. But will I ever?
Let’s be honest. 75% of my life I wear some type of yoga pant. And I do pretty much the same things, every day. I have done a fair amount of traveling, yes. But I always, always bring things that I am sure will be perfect. And I always end up being more practical than fashionable.
There simply isn’t enough time in a lifetime to do all the things I want to do, or be all the people I wish I could be.
In the end, I am just me.
And trying to be ok with that.
Is it wrong to keep things that make me dream of possibilities that are not probable?
Am I going to end up on Hoarders?
I have been mulling over a solution. More details to follow…

**I haven’t worn this, but remain fascinated by it. I think it will happen someday. Thoughts?