Bring Out Your Dead!

voltee ♦ September 14, 2011 ♦ 7 Comments

Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Cream/silver, silk/metal Designer: Hannah Jo Where Purchased: Next Boutique Years Owned: Less Than One

Why, hello there!
Yes, I know it’s been far too long.
No, I do not want to talk about it. Tonight.
I will tell you that I started out this evening intending to publish a poll, asking if anyone is still interested in reading this. I felt rather good about it. It was to be published at midnight.
And so I told my husband.
He just looked at me.
After a moment, he shook his head.
“What?” I asked, bewildered.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” He asked.
I followed this with some staring of my own. Epic staring.
Then I got it.
It doesn’t matter if there is no one left who will read this. It is the act of writing that sustains my soul, which has been starving and suffering more than I can say.
So. Here I am!
I have lots of new stories to tell. And lots of new clothes that go with them!
Like this blouse. I would consider this new. Even though I can’t even remember when I bought it… I think it was January-ish, at the Winter Sale at Next Boutique. Even though I haven’t even owned this for a year, I’ve worn this on more than one occasion already. But the very best one was in the spring.
Here was the plan. Nate and I would have a leisurely Sunday morning, and then head to New York City on swift, relaxing Metro North. Once we arrived, we would wander around in the fresh green magic of spring, have a lovely meal, which we had already paid for via the internet, and then go down to the village and take in a spooky show called Play Dead.
What happened, then, was this:
We woke up late. Ok, I woke up late. Of course, I had already planned my outfit, which consisted of this blouse, jeans, and knee high grey suede boots. And so I was ready in two shakes of a lamb’s tail!
“Let’s go!” I say to Nate joyously, thinking that we could still make our train.
“Did you print our payment confirmation for the dinner yesterday at the library, like I asked?” he responded.
Oops…
Well, no worry. We just head to the library then.
And… It doesn’t open for two hours.
Now Nate is very angry. We missed the train we had wanted to take.
“I’m driving to the city!” He exclaims sullenly.
I sit silent and sheepish for the entire two hours, desperately searching on my phone for a library on our way that’s open on a Sunday.
No luck. We make it all the way to the city, where traffic is absolutely horrible. In very typical Nate style, he decides to take a short cut.
We get a little lost somewhere in Harlem.
We are fighting like champions.
I start wishing we had just stayed home.
At one point, we call the restaurant and ask if we can show them our confirmation on our phone, explaining that our printer died and we just drove two hours to get here.
Nope, they say. You have to find a printer.
Now I have decided that I will never speak to Nate again in my life, and I believe that he was perfectly alright with that plan.
We make it to the New York Public Library 20 minutes before they close, are able to print our receipt, and make it to the restaurant 5 minutes late.
Our dinner included a bottle of wine, and so during the course of our meal I decided to start talking to Nate again. It ended up being a very lovely meal, worth every bit of trouble. Well, maybe not every bit, but most bits for sure.
We headed to the show as a loving couple once more. Play Dead was a show about seances by Teller of Penn and Teller fame and held in a tiny, quite terrifying little theater. Basically, it shows the audience tricks used to convince audience that the dead is speaking. And even though the audience knows what they’re seeing is faked, they are still completely horrified.
There was a great deal of audience participation. At one point, Nate whispered to me that the leader was staring at me. And a few minutes later, we figure out why.
He asks Nate how tall he is. And then he asks me if he can borrow Nate.
“And by borrow, I mean have. You won’t be getting him back.”
I laugh nervously. Of course this is an elaborate hoax. No harm will come to my husband. I know this implicitly. And yet, my heart began to pound. What do I say? Will I seem callus if I don’t beg him not to take Nate?
In the end I think I just said, “Ok.”
Nate gives me his wallet, and heads to the stage. I am completely nauseous. I can’t believe he has given me his worldly belongings! This tiny little act makes my entire body break out in a cold sweat. Does he really think that there is a chance he will never come back?
I watch as the man places Nate’s hat and shoes into a box, and helps Nate get into a metal tub. Then he pours acid into the tub.
It’s not really acid, I tell myself. But- it sure smokes like acid!
Then the tub is flipped over and a Nate-sized skeleton tumbles out. I laugh weakly with everyone else.
But a tear comes to my eye unbidden. I know that the skeleton is not Nate’s. How can it be? But then I also think of movies such as From Dusk Til Dawn. What if I just witnessed some maniac murder my husband? I can’t lie- I became really and truly frightened. No one can say that I have an inactive imagination…
For 20 minutes I sat in that dark theater without my husband, pulse pounding, continually telling myself not to be absurd, of course it isn’t real! Of course.
Then, miraculously, Nate was pulled from the world of the dead, and returned to the flesh!
The relief was sweet. But I did have to laugh at my self. A lot.
The show was such fun, and Nate had a great time. I won’t share his secrets, but he loved it. And so what began as a nightmare ended up being an unforgettable night, after all.
And I vowed never to take my wonderful husband for granted again. A vow I am still trying very hard to keep…
Well. About the blouse. I do love it so, but the metal work is just a little too heavy for the delicate chiffon. That is my only criticism. I find I get complements from complete strangers every time I wear it, which is a great indicator of the quality of a piece, in my mind.
What do you think?

**This is too new for me to make a decision, so perhaps I can get more votes on it.