Pointy Bird, Oh Pointy, Pointy…

voltee ♦ October 1, 2010 ♦ 3 Comments

Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Emerald, silk/cotton Designer: Odille Where Purchased: Anthropologie Years Owned: 3
Tonight I am not feeling so creative. I knew that it was bound to be one of those evenings where the words run amok in my head and do not want to come out. So I asked Nate to give me a color to write about. “Green,” he answered definitively. Even though I did write about something green yesterday, I decided to go for it, and pulled out this blouse.
This was an internet purchase. I was so excited when I found it that I made a little paper-chain calendar to count down the days until it would arrive. Ok, so not really, but I do so love those paper-chains and would really like to make one. They are a really simple and beautiful concept, I think. But I digress.
Here I was, shivering with anticip-pation for this blouse to become mine. And when I finally lifted it from the box three long, endless days later, it did not disappoint. Oh, green blouse! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: I love your jewel-like coloration. I love your enchanting sweetheart neckline. I love your romantic scalloped hem. I love your flattering cap sleeves. And I love your softness and shininess.
I immediately removed the crap I had been wearing and slid this blouse on. I ran up to the mirror to see it in all its vintagey glory, and- wait. What’s this? I turned to the side. That’s… peculiar, I thought. There is a fold of fabric that sticks out on the right breast region, like this:
Horrors! So I had not bought the perfect blouse, after all. I thought maybe the flaw would not be that noticeable to others not staring directly at my profile. Or, I reasoned, perhaps it wasn’t a flaw at all. Perhaps it is just a part of the design, and it is a mark of fashion-forwardness to strut around with Madonna-esque pointy boobs. I could maybe buy that, except that there is only ONE pointy boob. Righty. The left one is normal. So it does, unfortunately, seem to be a design flaw.
Did that stop me from wearing this? Not at all. I may not have proudly flaunted the pointy boob, but I did not shrink in fear. I put a velvet blazer over top, and I wore this ensemble to the Center, but I can’t remember which show it was. I keep thinking “Sweeney Todd.” I might be making that up.
I just remember that my friend Kevin greeted me and said, “Oh, is it St. Patrick’s Day? I didn’t know!” Maybe the jewel tone is a little overpowering.
At some point in the evening, I did remove the velvet blazer. I felt very self-conscious about the pointiness. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. No one commented about THAT, however.
I know I’ve worn this at least one other time. That time I tried a serious sort of push-up bra with it. I rationalized that perhaps if the blouse was filled to capacity, the fold wouldn’t be quite so pointy. Wrong again.
I have often considered trying to sew it somehow, with no follow through. I’m not sure it’s even fixable. Or even worth the attempt. What do you seamstresses out there think?

**This is shameful.  I did decide to get rid of this, and listed it on eBay, but at the last second I found I couldn’t bear to think of life without it.  It’s just that I’ve never found anything else this precise shade of green.  I am going to fix it somehow.  You’ll see.