What A Desiccated Insect With A Giant Elephant Leg Wears

voltee ♦ September 10, 2010 ♦ 2 Comments

Item:  Dress    Color/Fabric:  Blue, Cotton   Designer:  Lilke   Where Purchased:  Anthropologie   Years owned:  1.5

Oh, today was not a good day.  I have been crawling around in the depths of despair all day long.  I still don’t have an answer for my hip/back/leg/whatever pain, and in fact now have more questions.  So I’ve been thinking about the surgery I had in April quite frequently today, wondering if it has actually helped me.  Wishing I could have a little peak into the future and see if this all goes away someday.

What more appropriate garment to write about than the dress I wore on the day of my surgery!  I bought this little dress because the shape reminded me of 1930’s dresses and the embroidery reminded me of the hand embroidered shirts and dresses we saw in the markets of Budapest.  When I went for my pre-surgery screening, they told me I would want to wear something I could get on and off easily and was comfortable and loose fitting.  And I chose this, with my well-loved red suede flats.

I remember taking this off and getting into the hospital gown, which was a tent.  I literally could have safely hidden a family of four inside it in an emergency.

The best part of the whole experience was lying on the gurney under warm heated blankets, toasty and comfortable, before they took me to the surgery room.  By that time I the pre-anesthesia was starting, and I remember lots of white, and many lights, and I wondered why there were so many people wearing surgical masks and if they were all there for me.  My surgeon was talking to me and then he started to sound like the grown ups in Charlie Brown, and then I remember nothing.

The next thing I remember is my surgeon telling me that the surgery took longer than anticipated, and then going to the post surgery room.  I had to stay there for hours and hours, and it was so uncomfortable and awful, and I wasn’t able to see Nate or my mom, or drink any water, which I wanted more than anything else in the world.  Oh, and I had a nerve block, so the pain and motor nerves in my leg were shut off entirely.  It was the strangest sensation, like I had someone else’s leg attached to my body. It was just dead weight- I couldn’t control it at all.

When they let me go up to the recovery room, I was given some ginger ale and a cheese sandwich that I was physically unable to eat.  I tried valiantly, but my mouth was so dry it turned to this glue-like substance that, try as I might, I simple couldn’t swallow.  I drank and drank and drank, though.  No matter how much I drank, it wasn’t enough.  I felt dried out from the inside.  Like a desiccated insect.

Once I was able to leave, I had to put the dress back on.  Yes, it was easy to get into, right over my head, but I had not anticipated how swollen my leg would be.  It was an elephant leg.  Given my new girth, the dress was now ridiculously short.  It barely covered my bum, and the ruffle stuck out instead of lying flat.  I felt like an absurd,  very chubby cheerleader.

I’m glad I wore the dress, though.  It was almost as if I had a comforting friend with me.  I feel like it soothed me somehow.  The pretty red flats,  not so much- there was no way my enormous balloon  foot would ever have fit!

I think I would like to keep this, and wear it on an occasion that isn’t quite so pain-filled.  Like a picnic.  It would be a perfect, sunny picnic dress.  Yes?