The LBD Project- January Edition
Item: Little Black Dress Color/Fabric: Black, rayon/nylon/spandex Where Purchased: ideeli.com Years Owned: Almost three
Hello, friends! Tonight is a blast from the past- I admit that I have written about this dress before (here). But I have new things to say about it!
I know it is February, and we’re already on to month two of 2012. But I never fully explained my New Year’s Resolutions. I made many comments (here) about how I wanted to be more creative with my clothing and appreciate what is already in my wardrobe more this year.
What I wasn’t brave enough to mention then was that to help fulfill those resolutions, I made a vow to myself that I would wear the same Little Black Dress once a month. The same dress! Worn twelve times in 2012! This is quite a Big Deal for me.
I didn’t really have the courage to mention it earlier, because I ran my idea past a few friends, with lukewarm reactions.
In other words, no one was nearly as excited as I was about this concept.
The more I thought about it, however, the more appeal it had for me. I feel that it’s a chance for me to use what I have, to find new ways to wear a classic style, and help foster some creativity.
So I went for it!
I chose this dress because it is essentially a blank canvas. It’s simple, classic, and not heavy wooly fabric, so it should fare well in the summer swelter.
I hope.
I am a little worried about how I will pull off a black cocktail dress in August if I don’t end up with an actual cocktail party to attend.
But I’ll work it out!
In the meantime, here’s how I wore my LBD in January:
I wore this to opening night of Annie at The Center. That show holds such a dear place in my heart.Way back when, it was my first ever live theatre experience, at a dinner theater in Toledo Ohio. I was wee. My parents took my and my sister and two of our friends for my birthday, as a surprise. When they finally told me we were going to see Annie, I thought they meant the movie, which was my all-time favorite. But when they told me it was live, that was a hard concept to grasp. I remember being just about ready to burst with excitement, but still not really sure what my parents meant by “live.”
Then, the show started, and my world turned upside down!
And the show has remained one of my favorites.
The production at the Center didn’t disappoint my high, high expectations. My gifted friend Annie directed the show, a herculean undertaking, and she did a fabulous job. As did all the performers, with many friends (including my dear friend Jakey in a magnificent debut!) and some unfamiliar faces as well. I was simply transported! Just surrounded by such joy and sunshine and talent. I honestly felt like I was four years old again.
You can’t put a price tag on an experience like that!
It was a great way to start my new project.
And so the LBD Project begins! What do you think?
A Pail of Apples.
Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Pure white, cotton Designer: American Vintage Where Purchased: Next Boutique Years Owned: 3ish
Tonight, I have very mixed emotions. This is a blouse I’ve never been 100% behind. I want to love it. I really do. But I’m not really sure if it works for me.
I remember anticipating American Vintage’s arrival at Next, hearing Carissa talk about discovering it in France, how light and romantic and unfussy it was.But when the line finally did arrive, I had a hard time justifying the price. All of the pieces were just so light, like one step removed from air. It was hard to pay so much money for something with such little volume that I could literally wad it into a ball in my fist and tuck into a jean pocket. Like a tissue.
And many of the pieces ended up on clearance. I remember Tiffany holding up this blouse and telling me that Lindsay Lohan wore it as a swimsuit cover up and that it would look great on me.
Of course I bought it!
I have worn it a few times, but unsatisfactorily. For such an unstudied, unfussy piece, it presented many issues. Like excessive wrinkling.
It was something I really wanted to bring on my first trip to California. Perhaps I brought it with thoughts of lounging around a sparkling hotel pool a la Lindsay. But I ended up wearing it on safari!
And it was perfect.
The San Diego Wild Animal Park is an absolutely astounding place. Not like any other park or zoo in the world. It’s more like its own little planet. Almost all of the animals are free, not enclosed at all, and they are encouraged to breed and live as naturally as possible. So much so that on our safari we witnessed an impala ready to give birth at any minute! We could see the baby moving restlessly in its mother’s giant belly. The poor mama impala was as uncomfortable as any creature I have ever seen. Which I suppose would be the normal reaction for a mother in labor in front of a truckload of gawkers…
The highlight of the safari is getting to feed giraffes and rhinoceroses (rhinoceri?).
Up first was the giraffes. We were given a handful of leaves, and specific instructions. Namely, to remember that these are wild animals that can weigh over 2000 pounds. They are strong. They could hurt us. Therefore, do not tease the giraffes. Do not grab them or move too quickly. Hold the leaf high, over your shoulder. Let go of a leaf once it is bitten.
A lot of rules. And very hard to remember once a giraffe head is over your shoulder and a wiry blue tongue is snaking toward you!
Basically, I squealed. And giggled. Maybe shrieked. And looked like this:
Actually, I did pretty well with these handsome fellows. But later there was one that was very aggressive, and was literally nudging my head with his warm prickly neck. He licked my face! I didn’t mean to withhold a leaf from him; I just sort of forgot what I was supposed to do. Such an encounter was just surreal. And wonderful!
I think our guide was about to swoop in and save me when I regained my senses and finally fed the gentle beast.
Then came the rhinos. The saddest and most amazing tales told on the safari involved rhinoceri (rhioceroses?). The San Diego Wild Animal Park has done an amazing job encouraging breeding of rhinos, and has helped bring many types of rhino back from extinction. Except for the Northern White Rhino. It’s just too late for them. There are only seven left in the world. Seven.
And it seems as though they are all past their breeding years. These beautiful creatures will be gone- it’s only a matter of time.
We saw one of the males. He looked like he knew what was happening to his species- he seemed depressed. Even his horn was droopy.
I cried. (Want to learn more or help the rhinos? Go here.)
Then, we met Rosie. A happy Southern White Rhino! She was magnificent. We got to feed her buckets full of apples and pet her dry, leathery face and pickery chin. Here she is, in all her glory:
I never in all my life saw any creature eat an apple slice with such enthusiasm. I dropped in the apple, she chewed, and in seconds she was ready for more, eyes bright, lip protruding. Who know a pail of apples could produce such vast quantities of joy? We loved her so much that we named our new refrigerator after her!
My only regret was that I couldn’t kiss her on her dry, wrinkled forehead. Or horn.
The shirt made an excellent light layer for the safari. Floaty, comfy, and cool. There was not a cloud in the sky that day, and it was nice to have a light cover up. Oh, another regret- the chunky necklace. Not that great of an idea on safari. I ended up with a very oddly shaped sunburn, even with sunscreen… Sometimes I make bad choices.
High and Low.
Tonight , since I spent all my time coming up with this new look, is all about searches. A part of this blog that has always brought me a great deal of joy is discovering what search entries people have used to stumble across my page. I’ve always wanted to combine them all into a post. You know, like one of those magnetic poetry things. There were many, so I had to edit and pick my most favorite/craziest. Here’s what came out!
Sarula black widow honey. Firework costume. High heels sneakers. Fruit bat costume. Um lower body skirt. Penny. Drowsy chaperone. Dirndyl. Hungarian lace. Toe cleavage. Geisha kimono. Wedding gown “backlaces”. Big bang penny pants red flowers. “Beautiful dress”. Crossbow. Teen guy fashions – high cut sneekers. “Stole my purse”. Best homemade hulk homemade costumes. Puzzled hearts. Michael emerson adorable. U2 brooklyn bridge. Fabulous costume. Pink platform boots. Embellishments for lederhosen. Sjp fur coat. Bathrobe knee man. Woman with weird white hat 2011 -lady gaga. Catalogue underwear girls. White 1800s fashioned blouse. Michael emerson love. Vanderbilt mansion. Pool player black widow. Blue bug costume from suessical. I am understood. Oops wardrobe. Bye bye birdie costumes. Credit. Kohl’s prices ridiculous. Bono. Carrot wearing lederhosen. Audience casting for vmas. Spanish skin pores. I am crazy on titanic, iam feeling that iam rose. Self conscious short skirt. Polly o string cheese. The voltees heaven. Pictures of the most popular high heels at the moment. Stripe men blouse rainbow colour. Sexy peacoat. Jared leto. Bezzerwizzer. Laughter and sexy. 2011 academy awards winners. Ladies trench coat for spain. Snuggie to buy at t j maxx color blake. Britney spears wearing ballet slippers. “felt like dressing up” muddy. Valencia architecture. My wife ran off with a blue she broke my heart so i broke her jaw. Moxie cupcake hudson valley. Women. “granny panties”. I am sad. Love heart break. Baggy strippy wooly jumper photo. Importance of do not disturb sign. I am very drowsy and vomiting. Fushia blouse hope wore in days in our lives on march 24. Vienna pink bakery. Chocolat (importance). What’s so great about deep thoughts. We’ve got that ring of confidence. Actress in high heel boots. Memoirs of a board gamer. Meow. Breakin loose dress. Nuns with high heels. High-heeled trainers run away. Fruit bat saying hello. J-lo in desk. Gothic white dresses. “fire island” lighthouse nude. Black widow on heart. Geisha themed board game. Hulk thing. Mediterranean costumes. Is woodbury common haunted? I am obsessed with abercrombie and fitch. What to wear with a sequin dress. Man intoxicates. Oh beautiful bird, oh pointy pointy. What i wore for christmas church service? Pair of blouse and shorts with same color print for extra pounds. Fashion designer who worked with sea shells. Hollywood sign girl butt. Wrinkle actor face. Man white bathrobe. “where you goin barcelona”. White stuff that come out of the pores of skin on my arms. “idea to hang her” pants. Images of only girls cleavage. Christmas tinsel costume. Cher tour costumes. “broadway cares” “flea market”. “laura osnes”. White oktoberfest skirt. Snickersbury. Malaysian fruits. The jacket qweneth wore in country strong. Frueza brits. Joy salmon. “east lansing”. White black bears. Dance outfit for the song american idiot. Freeze ray accordion. Vicky barbie vest tummy. Fallen princess rapunzel. “murder on my feet”. German creature that eats car fabric. High heels in fashion 2011 wow thin. Young tommy james. Fruit bat in flight. Real ghost terrifying. Side view of a tower. Sweet dreams (are made of this). Hurleymountaininn.com/warrior. Eat, drink, and be married: murder mystery party. Sex chiffon blouse. Indian fashion blog black and negative images. Real Ghost kittens.
Most of these really speak for themselves, but I do have just a few comments/concerns.
There are more people than I ever imagined out there searching relentlessly for high heeled sneakers.
Express has baffled millions with their Sarula tee. (Read this: Black Widow, Honey.)
I hope some of these people found help/ dialed 911(“I am crazy on titanic, iam feeling that iam rose.” And “I am very drowsy and vomiting.”)
Why did a search for “White stuff that come out of the pores of skin on my arms” lead someone to my blog?
Also, there’s a German creature that eats car fabric??
Panic, Happiness, and Hot Pink Flowers!
Item: Sweater-tank Color/Fabric: Blue, white, green, yellow/Cotton Designer: Esprit Where Purchased: Esprit Outlet; Birch Run Years Owned: Whew- not sure on this one. 13 years?
Tonight’s muse is one of the Forgotten. To be honest, I truly thought that this had gone the way of the Salvation Army a long, long time ago, but apparently I was quite mistaken. I unearthed this back around this past Halloween, on the very top shelf in my closet, where I keep things like beehive wigs, graduation gowns, Austin Powers shirts, and witch hats. Things that aren’t really useful as a costume in a show, but may come in handy for a Halloween party. And underneath the various costumey pieces, there’s usually a half-dozen actual clothing pieces, things that I can’t bring myself to get rid of, but can’t really imagine wearing.
As I lifted a pair of silver space pants for closer consideration, I found this top.
I remember buying this, but really can’t remember when. I know that I was with my sister, and we went to the Birch Run Outlet Mall, which was a 45 minute drive, but absolutely worth it. We always had great times, and snagged awesome sales.
Like this top. It really wasn’t my size, but I bought it anyway, since it was such a good deal. And ended up really liking the extra room! This ended up being one of those really easy pieces that I would just throw on and head to class during my days at MSU.
Notably, I also chose it for for a pretty big event. Arguably the biggest event of my life, thus far:
This is my wedding day!!!
I had a spectacular, absolutely perfect, ridiculously joyful wedding. I would not have changed a single thing!
Well, perhaps one or two little tiny things.
I might have planned a little better.
And I wish my flowers hadn’t been hot pink.
Both of these thoughts are completely and totally evident in this picture.
My beautiful sister Kelly is doing my hair. I know that most brides actually go to a salon or something fancy like that for their weddings. I was just a poor waitress/college student, and my sister was always gifted at styling hair. She did a really great job for my junior prom, so I figured I was all set.
I had this image in my head of somehow getting a new head of hair and looking like some sort of Greek Goddess, with tendrils and interwoven pearls and a simple crown spiraling through it all. Which I’m sure my sister could have done beautifully, if I had planned a bit. But we actually never practiced anything, which I only realized the morning of my wedding. There are so many things to think about when one gets married! How can anyone remember it all?
And so, I had a brief moment of panic. My sister, calm, collected, amazing, assured me it would be fine, and started working her magic. My hair ended up not only looking great, but stayed in place through hours and hours of frenzied dancing. Kelly, the magician! I really would never have made it through that day, or many other days, without her.
About those pink flowers…I had a bit of a hard time articulating to my florist the color of flowers I wanted. I chose this inky, dramatic indigo. I really, really did not want pink. Really. At all. Anything but pink.
In this picture, I can see my sister thinking, “Ok, one hurdle down… now when do I tell her about the flowers??”
I have no idea where it is, but I do actually have a picture of the exact moment she told me my flowers ended up nearly-neon pink. My photographer should really work for TMZ!
I did not react calmly. I did have a bridezilla struggling to occupy my body. But it only lasted for a moment. Or two.
I took a breath, and then decided it didn’t matter. Then, a horrifying thought.
“The men’s flowers are white, right? They aren’t pink, right?”
“Oh, no,” my sister replied without missing a beat. “the boutonnieres are white!”
An hour later, when I saw our best man Casey wearing a calla lily the hottest hot pink I’d ever seen, I just laughed.
I guess that when I really think about it, I’m happy about the flower debacle. It’s a story that always makes me smile, but it also makes me think of marriage in general.
Sometimes, there are surprises. Sometimes, you don’t get what you expect. Sometimes, you don’t get what you think you deserve. Sometimes, you don’t get what you want. Those are the times when you have to realize that nothing is really a fairy tale. Laugh. And focus on what really matters, which is the marriage. In the end, pink flowers are just pink flowers.
I still ended up being married to a man I love, who makes me laugh every day, for almost 12 years!
I love being married.
But do I love this little sweater thing? It’s cute, and I could see it with a long skirt in the summer. I have not worn it, though, in probably over five years. Am I just hanging on to it for sentimental reasons? Should I let it go?
Savin’ It.
Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Multiple purples, grey/silk Designer: Rebecca Taylor Where Purchased: Barney’s Co-op Outlet Years Owned: 2
Here I sit, in a dark room, with an empty screen and a full glass of wine, creatively inspirational music playing (tonight, the Decemberists), feeling strangely…content. Until a few short moments ago, I had not dressed my Trixie in ages. I tried my best to ignore her pleading eyeless stare as I passed her, forgotten, every day.
But today, reunion! And happiness.
Up first tonight, one quick business matter. You can now reach my blog by iamwhatiwore.com, in case that’s easier for you, or you want to tell someone about it, or if you just have an inquiring mind that needs to know. Also, a new look and some new features coming soon. Something to look forward to!
And now, this lovely blouse. This came to mind tonight for two reasons. The first being that I bought it at Barney’s in Woodbury Common, at my most favorite shopping event, their winter clearance. I either have called in sick, driven through a snowstorm, or awoken at the crack of dawn three of the last four years for this event, only missing the year that I worked backstage for Gypsy.
This year, I will purposefully be abstaining.
Which brings me to the second reason I thought of this blouse. I am bravely facing this Barney’s boycott as part of my multi-faceted New Year’s resolution. One part is that I want to be more creative and brave with my fashion decisions. The second is that I will really, really let go of what I don’t need. The third is that I want to use and appreciate my wardrobe.
That last part is the focus of this post.
I really have been thinking about this part, a lot.
Like, tossing and turning at night, a lot.
And I decided that I can’t really use and appreciate what I already own if I’m constantly adding new pieces.
Which is what I do, relentlessly. I’m like the curator of an enormous museum, on an endless quest for more rare acquisitions. Except that I don’t have a vast, museum-like amount of space on my closet. It is booked. There is no room at the inn…
But it’s not just a matter of space. There’s also the weird, unnamed disorder that has plagued me my entire life- the one that makes me like a piece of clothing at least 50% less after wearing it a single time. It gives me an irrepressible urge to continually buy clothing!
Then there’s the third thing- the Savin’ It clause. This is the one where you buy something, maybe a little bit fancier than the clothes you usually wear, maybe a little bit more expensive than what you usually buy. But you love it. So much that you tell yourself that you’re “Savin’ It,” for that exact, picture perfect occasion. You know, the one that never comes.
So the piece sits in your closet year after year, and sometimes you pick it up, or even try it on, telling yourself how much you love it. Yet it never sees the light of day.
My husband is a great champion of the Savin’ It clause. One night, when we decided on a whim to go out for dinner, I put this on with a pair of jeans and tall grey boots. I felt great. However, Nate said, “Isn’t that Rebecca Taylor? Don’t wear that. You’ll ruin it!”
I felt a brief flash of guilt, then slyly asked if he wanted to wait while I picked out an entirely new outfit. He didn’t, of course, and the blouse ended up surviving three kinds of salsa, tortilla soup, and a coconut margarita.
But even if it had met its demise at the Mexican restaurant, it would have been worth it to me. Because if it got ruined, I wouldn’t wear it anymore. And if I saved it only for occasions where I knew with absolute certainty that there was no chance whatsoever of spills, tears, snags, or acid rain, I would never wear it at all. Both situations have the same outcome; me not wearing the blouse.
Therefore, I’m always going to decide to wear the blouse.
There is no reason to save anything you own for a better day, a different day, the right occasion. We can’t ever know what tomorrow will hold. Or if there really will be a tomorrow, for that matter. There are no guarantees, after all.
I do have a nagging fear of leaving behind a closet full of clothes with the tags still on, representing opportunities not taken, a life not lived to its fullest capacity.
I will live, and love and appreciate what I own!
If that means sometimes watching American Idol in an evening gown, then I have no choice! If I must, I must…
So, what of this blouse? I do love it so! I love it’s refined animal print, its slinky feel, its sweet neckline and gracefully fluttering sleeves. I love it so much that I’ve worn it at least four times! Now that is true love.
Round And Round.
The idea for this post has been a-creepin’ and a-crawlin’ around in my brain since the beginining of December, but every time I actually attempted to sit down and write it, I just got lost. All tangled up in a giant writhing mass of angst, thought, hope, regret, shame, and uncertainty. Ready for a new start, but unable to see how to get there.
A few months ago, I had a brief moment of clarity while listening to John Lennon- “Watching The Wheels.” I realized that I had much that I needed to let go of; but I have never been good at throwing anything away (hence this blog!).
It’s as if, as a child, I had somehow invented this concept that if I was a good person, and worked hard, eventually my life would be full of magic. And for years I would evaluate my life, realize that nothing magical lived there, and throw myself into the pit of despair. Where I would stay, until watching a movie (usually “Amelie”) or something that made me realize “Yes! The magic is everywhere! All around me!!” Tears of joy would be shed, resolutions made, a heart transformed!
Then I would wake up the next morning, and reality would snidely rear its ugly head.
I think that I figured that all the work one does in life somehow accumulates, and eventually you have enough saved up so that life becomes, eventually, easy. It’s like life was a giant wheel. For a while, my energy and joy and love for living knew no bounds. I could not wait to run on the wheel, make it turn, set everything in motion. Then, after a while, I just wanted to ride on it for a bit, enjoying the momentum. And then I decided to get off and just watch it, reveling in the beauty of the spinning. One day, I stumbled, and hobbled along for a spell, growing terrified of the wheel as it chased me down. Until eventually, it seemed like a good idea to just lay down in front of it and let the wheel roll right over me.
And I’ve been lying here, squashed, ever since.
I want to unsquash! It’s time.
Here is my motivation:
I want to be this girl again. This was a girl who said, “Hey, world! Guess who’s comin’ attcha??” Who honestly believed that she could do anything. Who said “I’m going to be me, and I don’t give a (what?) about what anyone else thinks!” It was a lie, of course, but that girl said it anyway.
My lovely friend Lizzie gave me a book over the summer called “The Happiness Project.” It’s been both an inspiration and and a frustration to me, because I both wanted and did not want to try to make an effort to be happy. But today I realized that my problem was, as usual, a matter of perspective. It was too daunting for me to think of working for happiness for an entire year. Instead, I will strive to make every individual day a happiness project. Some days it will be in large quantities, some days a little more meager, some days one type, other days another, but I am going to try to find at least a little bit in every day.
For me, a big part is transforming many things I used to love from chores that bring me stress back into the things that give me joy. Like writing. And creating art. Creating anything! I just need to hop back on that wheel and start it rolling again.
There is such a thing as magic. It is all around us. It is inside us.
And I find so much of it in you!
The One…
Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Zebra, polyester/spandex Designer: Kenneth Cole Where Purchased: TJ Maxx Years Owned: 6ish
Wherein I enumerate things that keep me from writing every day like I want to. 1. Pain in my Former-Good-Leg-Turned-Bad leg when sitting. 2. Self pity. 3. Television shows, particularly if there is singing or dancing involved. 3. Fatigue. 4. Inability to think of a decent title. 5. Excruciating, world-obliterating dental pain. 6. Guilt over not actually getting rid of many clothes. 7. Guilt over shopping at Anthropologie too much. 8. That demon. 9. Fear of repeating myself. 10. Fear of everything else in the entire world. 11. Sudden hatred of my entire musical catalog. 12. Too much beer or wine. 13. Not enough beer or wine. 14. The pit of despair. 15. Overwhelming concern for world affairs. 16. My uterus. 17. Being in the middle of a really good book. 18. Rehearsals for something. 19. Vulnerability. 20. Movies that have quotes saying things like “Blogging is the graffiti of the writing world.” 21. Being unable to wade through the knee-high flood of clothing on my closet floor. 22. Frustration that Trixie has no butt, and that the Salvation Army won’t let me buy one of their display butts. 23. Regret that is suffocating. 24. Netflix. 25. Disputes over whether my recollections are accurate or not. 26. Spontaneous eruptions of contentment. 27. Lingering feelings of inadequacy. 28. The question “Why?” 29. My wonderful bathtub. 30. Commitments to others, such as “husband” and “pets”.
Ok. I think that’s all of them. I felt like if I made a list and had to face them, that perhaps I could conquer them and become more consistent again. We shall see!
At this moment, I have to admit, I have, like, 12 of these situations going on. So tonight isn’t easy. But I have been trying to write about this shirt for three days, and tonight it’s going to happen!
This shirt is a situation 23- I’m not quite certain that I remember correctly when I wore it. But I am sure that it did come from the general era, so the odds are most likely in my favor.
I think that this is the blouse I wore when my lovely Lizzie was going away to college. We had a delightful dinner, full of laughter, Mexican food, and a few tears. The most interesting part of the evening was getting to meet Lizzie’s friend, Annie. It was one of those moments where I am certain a person of monumental importance has just entered my life, and I wasn’t wrong.
I remember seeing both Annie and Lizzie before I knew them at the auditions for Chicago. I had just watched them both in the first show I ever saw at the Center, Into The Woods, and I felt totally out of place amongst such talent. They danced with such power, grace, and confidence at the audition, and they both have that quality that makes everyone in a room instantly drawn to them. I felt completely intimidated.
Then imagine my surprise when I got to know Lizzie, and found out that she is the sweetest person in the world, and that we had so many things in common. Then, in the middle of feeling sad that she was leaving for college, I met a new friend.
I remember Annie being so excited to be meeting someone her age. She said all the things I was thinking, but too shy to say.
Many, many things have happened since that night so long ago. My love for these two amazing ladies has grown to limitless bounds. I am blessed to have such people in my life!
This top, though, I am not sure of. I used to wear shapes like this all the time, but I haven’t really in a while. Many a moon. I can honestly say I don’t own anything else like it!
Rollin’ Like A Celebrity!
Item: Skirt Color/Fabric: Grey, unknown Designer: Also unknown Where Purchased: The Salvation Army Years Owned: Two
I know that I’m late to jump on this train, but today it hit me that the summer is really over. Yes, I realize that it’s about to be warm and beautiful outside again, for a few days. And I even saw a rainbow today, the largest, most vividly Roy G Biv-y rainbow I ever did see. A promise that the rains will stop, right?
Sure. But the snow isn’t far away. It’s all an illusion. Winter is lurking, ready to punch us in our Indian-Summer-drenched faces.
If I was to pick an official garment of Summer 2010, I would nominate this skirt. I don’t really know much about it; there are no tags at all inside. I found it at The Salvation Army with my fabulous friend, Lisa. She loved it, instantly, but I wasn’t convinced. But since it was half-priced Wednesday, I bought it anyway. And forgot about it for a good long while.
Then, in May of this year, I thought of it for some reason, and packed it for our little jaunt to California. It is perfect for traveling! Whatever it is made of doesn’t really wrinkle.
I decided to wear it when we had our lone night in LA. In my mind, I had always imagined Los Angeles as New York’s shinier, plasticy cousin. And granted, we didn’t really have enough time to let the city sink in a little, get under our skin a little. But it really wasn’t how I expected, at all.
We went to Hollywood first. And my first impression was that it was like a smaller, dirtier, less exciting Times Square. The Hollywood Walk of Fame was very- anti-climatic. I’m not sure what I expected.
Yes, I know. Magic! I expected magic, and reverence. Instead, there were cigarette butts and garbage and lots of names I didn’t really care about. I found myself sort of wondering what the point was. The most magical sight on the Walk was a man in the intersections, with a sign letting the world know he was dancing for Jesus.
And did he ever! His joy knew no bounds.
I had a much better time at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Here was the magic! If only it had been a little less crowded… I could have stayed there for hours, enraptured by the Ghosts of Hollywood past. I learned many things- that my hands are a perfect match for Meryl Streep, that Hollywood leading ladies like Judy Garland, Ginger Rogers, and Elizabeth Taylor had very tiny feet, and that every single person who has ever visited must have touched Marilyn Monroe’s hand print. It was discolored by all the love.
I was very happy to find Joan Fontaine, also tiny feet, but deeply disappointed that there was no Audrey Hepburn. Martin Lawrence, yes. Audrey Hepburn, no. Tears.
We spent a few minute looking at the Hollywood sign, which did give me a little thrill when I saw it for the first time on the highway. Then we had a very delightful Thai dinner, and toured around by car.
We drove through Beverly Hills, saw some mansions, and the iconic Beverly Hills sign. It was such a lovely drive! I really was hoping to see a celebrity taking out the trash or something, but the stars were not so aligned. Then, we headed down Rodeo Drive- also not as big as I imagined. I oo-ed and ah-ed but luckily didn’t find the need to really shop there. And then we drove back.
I know I needed more than one day in LA to find the heart of it. And I will go back one day in search of it. But it was honestly love at first sight with New York City. That city, I just get.
This skirt, though, was quite successful. One lady even said aloud, “MM. I gotta get me a nice long skirt like that!”
And when I got back from California, this skirt became my new staple. Almost like a tee-shirt. If I saw you this summer, I may very well have been wearing it.
Is it worth saving for another summer? Will the maxi-skirt even be in style next summer? If not, should I care?
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This.
Item: Dress Color/Fabric: Purple/lovely flowers, polyester Designer: Lux Where Purchased: Urban Outfitters Years Owned: 10?
Ah, well, I have been attempting to write this all week. It’s been one of those rough ones! On Tuesday, I had a rather brutal run-in with a dentist, and my head and face have been aching since. If you aren’t familiar with my dental dramas, there is a brief history here: voltee.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/176/ It’s so depressing. I am seriously thinking about having them all pulled and getting dentures.
Happier subject now! For the last few weeks I have been mulling over why I will absolutely never forget some outfits I have worn and the occasions in which I have worn them. And sometimes I have clothing that I know I have worn, and more than once, but I could not tell you specifically when if my life depended on it. I have never really been able to figure out why.
This weekend, I think that I did. It’s those days when I can’t get dressed. Those days when I’ve been “addressing myself for hours.”
When I have to think about it, and obsess over it, and experiment on it like I am trying to discover a new element, then I will never forget what I wore.
Usually this obsessing happens when I am trying to find sleep. Those moments when i am drifting between consciousness and dreaminess are the most ripe with creativity. Usually I am only able to think about four things: Regrets from the day before, possible ensembles, potential plots for stories I will never write, and breakfast.
This past Saturday at about midnight, I decided to go down to New York City by myself, go to the Broadway Fleamarket, and then meet Nate for a lovely dinner later. Excitement! But too much. I could not sleep. I could not decide what to wear.
I mentally raided my closet for hours. Barely before the sun rose, this little dress drifted into a dream. This has hung in my closet year after year after year and I know I have worn it before, but many eons ago. I’ve always loved its vintage vibe, and also the fact that I bought it for $1 at Urban Outfitters. I just never really thought of it. But this, this was its time!
And yes, it was. I arrived at Times Square in the dress, and my favorite chunky boots, and got swallowed up by chaos and magic and madness. It was a wonderful day.
I made a small donation to Broadway Cares, to fight Aides, and got to have my picture taken with Michael Emerson, my favorite bad guy on Lost, a show I loved intensely for years. Ok, perhaps love isn’t a strong enough word. I fanatically obsessed over the show for every season it was on. And I think Michael Emerson is a fantastic actor. Here we are!
When I heard his voice talking to the person in front of me, my stomach was swallowed up by butterflies! Ben! Ben Linus! In real life!
Be calm, I told myself. Smile, and act like a normal person. Do not tell him how nice he is in real life.
Before I knew it, he was shaking my hand.
“Hi!” He said. “I’m Micheal Emerson! Thank you for coming!”
“Hi!” I said. “I’m Kerry! You are so nice!!”
Crap…
Well, I had another chance to redeem myself at the autograph table. I brought this picture I love of me walking into Times Square, with confetti falling everywhere. And I had a whole table of Broadway and TV stars sign it!
Autographs don’t really mean much to me, but it was a great cause and I thought the picture would look great signed. I couldn’t talk to any of them, except when they asked me about the picture. And everyone loved it! I think the only person who didn’t comment about it was Anthony Rapp. He was not very friendly…
Laura Osnes, who I watched on Grease: You’re the One That I Want!, was a sweetie pie, and she told me she loved my dress. And I had a great conversation with Carrie Preston, who plays Arlene on True Blood. I told her about the plight of our theater, and she seemed honestly devastated.
Later, I walked around the flea market, and every few steps a random person stopped me to compliment my frock. I was feeling confident and exuberant, until I found a few books. Giant books. Books that weighed about 50 pounds. I had to buy a bag to haul them around.
After a few hours, I was miserable. All that extra weight was murder on my feet and knees and shoulders, and I started to completely loathe my boots. A few times I thought I wasn’t going to make it.
But then, I was reunited with my honey, and three courses plus a bottle of wine took away all my troubles.
And he carried my books for the rest of the night.
It was one of those days for the ages.
Is There A Time?
Item: Blouse Color/Fabric: Leopard, polyester Where Designer: Kenar Purchased: Marshall’s Years Owned: 2
I have been doing a great deal of pondering lately. Such questions as: Is it better to keep clothing that reminds you of someone you used to be, or someone you never will be?
I have too many pieces of each.
I just can’t seem to cut either category out of my life. Items from the former I will shove in a garbage bag in a moment of false bravery, and then take it down to my basement, where it will sit for months. Ok, years, actually. But if it’s not in my closet, it’s not actually owning it, right? Right??
Items from the later category make me talk to myself. I will look at the item, and say, “Ok, where will you wear this?” I will think for a moment, and say “Wow, so many places! To a jazz bar, on a hot air balloon ride, when I am invited to a movie premiere, eating a croissant in a Parisian cafe, on The View when I am on my book tour, strolling down a deserted moonlit beach, in Africa reading books to orphans, at a rooftop party in Manhattan…” or whatever wonderful scenario Imaginary Kerry is living in the piece. “The possibilities are endless!” And then I will smile at the practicality of the item in consideration, and place it back in my closet, where it will hang untouched for another month. Ok, year, actually.
And in those occasions where I can come up with not a single plausible occasion where I might wear a piece, I will say, “Costume closet!” Which is sort of the equivalent of a garbage bag in a basement.
For example , this blouse. I remember finding this, surprise! , on the clearance rack at Marshall’s. I was thrilled. “This will come in handy someday,” I thought. “Someday, I will need exactly this.”
Two years later, that day has yet to come. When might one need a bedazzled, leopard print, one shoulder blouse? To a Dress Like A Real Housewife Of New Jersey party?
And yet, I am fascinated by it for some reason. When I pulled it out of the closet tonight, I immediately had to try it on. I smiled. It has a sort of 50’s sex-kitten vibe. I imagine wearing it with Sandy’s black pants from Grease. And red lipstick. And smoking a cigarette. And looking like Jayne Mansfield.
When might this occasion be? On Halloween. Or in another lifetime.
So why do I still have this? Or these shoes?
These Giuseppe Zanotti shoes are gorgeous, and I love them dearly. But I have had these for at least five years, and have never worn them, except to try them on about once a year and say how pretty they are. When I try them on, I think about things like renewing my wedding vows, usually on a large boat, or on top of a building overlooking the ocean at sunset, wearing a simple white sheath and these shoes.
I would really love to do that. I would love to do all of the things that I imagine doing in the clothes I have never worn. But will I ever?
Let’s be honest. 75% of my life I wear some type of yoga pant. And I do pretty much the same things, every day. I have done a fair amount of traveling, yes. But I always, always bring things that I am sure will be perfect. And I always end up being more practical than fashionable.
There simply isn’t enough time in a lifetime to do all the things I want to do, or be all the people I wish I could be.
In the end, I am just me.
And trying to be ok with that.
Is it wrong to keep things that make me dream of possibilities that are not probable?
Am I going to end up on Hoarders?
I have been mulling over a solution. More details to follow…
**I haven’t worn this, but remain fascinated by it. I think it will happen someday. Thoughts?
I Am What I Wore 