An Unidentified Jean-like Garment

voltee ♦ October 2, 2010 ♦ 1 Comment

Item: Jeans/Trousers? Color/Fabric: Brown, polyester/cotton/spandex Designer: Gap Years Owned: I honestly can’t remember, but at least 6. I’m feeling 8, though.

Today for your contemplation I have a strange pair of pants that sort of want to be jeans and sort of want to be trousers. They are not trouser jeans, which I love dearly. They are instead some sort of unwholesome hybrid that is neither here nor there.
I don’t remember buying these, but I remember feeling thrilled, as though I had purchased a professional, sophisticated pair of trousers. Or were they jeans? This was a time in my life when I only felt comfortable wearing a dress if it was a wedding or a funeral. So I would wear these pants when I wanted to “dress up.”
I liked that they had a little bit of shimmer to them, that they weren’t just flat brown. And that they were styled like jeans, but not jean color. Or fabric.
I wore these jeans when I went to interview at the Countryside Animal Hospital, about six months after I moved here. I wore a lime green merino turtleneck sweater, a cranberry colored wool trench coat, and my classic Prada oxfords:
(For the story of these shoes, see my post https://voltee.wordpress.com/2010/09/05/prada-a-tale-of-regret/)
I felt immaculately professional. And I got the job! It was such a great feeling. After staying at home for months, in true hermit fashion, I finally felt like I would be a Contributor. I would make my own money. I felt empowered.
However, it wasn’t really much money. And I only lasted about 6 months. And things ended really horribly. I was, rather indirectly, blamed for the death of a dog. I’ve never felt so awful in all my life. To this day I do not think it was my fault- I relayed the symptoms the dog’s owner told me to the vet, and the vet chose not to see the dog for hours. But by then it was too late to save him. Sometime I think of that situation, and I tell myself I was not to blame, and I almost wholeheartedly believe it, but there is still a doubt that pulls at me. Maybe I didn’t ask the right questions. Maybe I should have pleaded with the vet. Maybe I should have told the owner to bring the dog in anyway. I don’t think it will ever leave me.
I wasn’t fired, or, as I said, even blamed directly. But I did receive a “talking to,” that left no doubt in my mind who the doctor felt was to blame. I stayed and worked there for a few more months, but it just kept eating away at me. And then I quit.
Which began one of the happiest periods of my life, the Months of Prolific Writing. I probably would not have felt free to do such a thing if I had not made at least a little income that year. So I guess after all these trousers have brought me some good fortune.
But have I worn them in the last three years? Doubtful. Do I still think they are flattering on me? Unsure. Now that I own real trousers, is there a reason to keep these impostors?

**These had to go.  I don’t think I have any other garment that has been shown such universal disdain.  But maybe someone out there wants them anyway?